How to wipe your tushy

I had the most interesting conversation with Ian(age 5) yesterday and thought I'd record it for future posterity (and laughs). We were driving in the car . .. .

Ian: "Mommy, my butt hurts."
Me: "Your what hurts?"
Ian: "I mean my tushy hurts."
Me: "Why does your tushy hurt?" (At this point I'm fully expecting him to tell me about a fall at school)
Ian: "When I go poopy, I don't always do such a job.."
Me: "OK, Ian let's go over this again. What's the first thing you do after you go poopy?"
Ian: "Well, you get some toilet paper and you wipe your butt, I mean tushy."
Me: "Where exactly do you wipe Ian?"
Ian: "Um, well, your bottom -"
Me: "No, Ian. You wipe the hole where the poopy comes out. Now, where do you wipe?"
Ian: "The hole where the poopy comes out."
Me: "Right, then what do you do?"
Ian: "Well, you put the paper in the potty -"
Me: "No, Ian. First you look at the toilet paper to see if there's any poopy on it. Then you put it in the potty. Then what do you do?
Ian: "You get some more toilet paper and you wipe your bottom -
Me: "No, you wipe the hole where the poopy comes out!"
Ian: "You wipe the hole where the poopy comes out."
Me: "then what?"
Ian: "You put it in the potty."
Me: "No, Ian. First you look at the paper to see if there's any more poopy on it."
Ian: "OK, you look at the paper then you put it in the potty."
Me: "Now what?"
Ian: "You get some more toilet paper-"
Me: "OK, Ian, pay attention. You get some toilet paper. You wipe the hole where the poopy comes out. Then you look at the toilet paper. If there is still poopy on the toilet paper you get some more toilet paper and wipe. Then what do you do?"
Ian: "Um, you throw it in the potty?"
Me: "No, Ian, you LOOK! If there is still poopy on the toilet paper, you keep wiping. You keep doing this until there is no more poopy on the toilet paper. When there is no more poopy on the toilet paper you have a clean butt - I mean tushy."
Me: "So where do you wipe?"
Ian: "The hole where the poopy comes out."
Me: "Then what do you do?"
Ian: "Um, you look at the toilet paper."
Me: "And if ther's poopy on it?"
Ian: "You get some more toilet paper and wipe again."
Me: "And if there's still poopy on it?"
Ian: "You wipe again."
Me: "Until when?"
Ian: "Until there's no more poopy."
Me: "That's right."