How to wipe your tushy

I had the most interesting conversation with Ian(age 5) yesterday and thought I'd record it for future posterity (and laughs). We were driving in the car . .. .

Ian: "Mommy, my butt hurts."
Me: "Your what hurts?"
Ian: "I mean my tushy hurts."
Me: "Why does your tushy hurt?" (At this point I'm fully expecting him to tell me about a fall at school)
Ian: "When I go poopy, I don't always do such a job.."
Me: "OK, Ian let's go over this again. What's the first thing you do after you go poopy?"
Ian: "Well, you get some toilet paper and you wipe your butt, I mean tushy."
Me: "Where exactly do you wipe Ian?"
Ian: "Um, well, your bottom -"
Me: "No, Ian. You wipe the hole where the poopy comes out. Now, where do you wipe?"
Ian: "The hole where the poopy comes out."
Me: "Right, then what do you do?"
Ian: "Well, you put the paper in the potty -"
Me: "No, Ian. First you look at the toilet paper to see if there's any poopy on it. Then you put it in the potty. Then what do you do?
Ian: "You get some more toilet paper and you wipe your bottom -
Me: "No, you wipe the hole where the poopy comes out!"
Ian: "You wipe the hole where the poopy comes out."
Me: "then what?"
Ian: "You put it in the potty."
Me: "No, Ian. First you look at the paper to see if there's any more poopy on it."
Ian: "OK, you look at the paper then you put it in the potty."
Me: "Now what?"
Ian: "You get some more toilet paper-"
Me: "OK, Ian, pay attention. You get some toilet paper. You wipe the hole where the poopy comes out. Then you look at the toilet paper. If there is still poopy on the toilet paper you get some more toilet paper and wipe. Then what do you do?"
Ian: "Um, you throw it in the potty?"
Me: "No, Ian, you LOOK! If there is still poopy on the toilet paper, you keep wiping. You keep doing this until there is no more poopy on the toilet paper. When there is no more poopy on the toilet paper you have a clean butt - I mean tushy."
Me: "So where do you wipe?"
Ian: "The hole where the poopy comes out."
Me: "Then what do you do?"
Ian: "Um, you look at the toilet paper."
Me: "And if ther's poopy on it?"
Ian: "You get some more toilet paper and wipe again."
Me: "And if there's still poopy on it?"
Ian: "You wipe again."
Me: "Until when?"
Ian: "Until there's no more poopy."
Me: "That's right."

Can't sleep

I cannot believe how long it's been since I posted last. My only guess is that Kiera stopped being a sleeping newborn and I got busy. She's almost 1 now, I can't believe it. She's very independent and stubborn (wonder where she gets that from?). She has discovered her voice and uses it . . . constantly. Her favorite thing to say is Ah- da, usually at the top of her little lungs in the grocery store. She just repeats it over and over - it sounds to me like she's saying 'all done!' She also says da-da and has been known to get out a ma-ma when she's really upset. She is definitely a daddy's girl. The yelling starts if Dave comes home and, heaven forbid, walks by her to put his stuff down. She has a sweet little smile that's just for him.

Anyway, I don't know why I'm up in the middle of the nighttyping this - I should be getting some much-needed sleep. Every bit of me is tired, except my calves which are in knots and make it hard to sleep. I should just go take some tylonel and a hot shower and be done with it. I don't know why I'm not. Apparently I like being falling down tired . . . . the boys are croupy. Lucas and Ian woke up this morning sounding like seals. Lucas was worse so I kept him home. I probably should have kept Ian too, but it was his 100th day and he had this cute red t-shirt that we glued 100 googly eyes on for him to wear . . . . One of them is coughing now, i'm not sure who - hopefully I won't have to keep anyone home tomorrow!

OK, OK - I'm going to bed.